I'd ask for forgiveness for my cussing in the title, but I figure we're all adults here right? Plus there wasn't a better way for me to sum up the jist of tonights blog post. So chickadees and duders, we're going to discuss the characteristics of a Good Time Charlie and how to keep yourself from falling victim to their charms.
In the online dating world you'll come across these smooth talking bastards that completely sweep you off your feet with fun times and the promise of a good connection. They are the comedic wolf in sheeps clothing, the mirage in the desert that promises a cool drink of Fiji water, only to find out the closer you get it's only Arrowhead water. Now, these people do serve their purpose when approached correctly. For the most part if you're only looking to have fun and live in the moment without the promise of any kind of future, or definite plans (or the option to make ANY plans with them for that matter) then by all means, go have fun. I don't necessarily think these "Good Time Charlies" are intentionally bad people. They just don't have the capacity to look for long term, they don't tend to think at all for that matter. Because of this "live in the moment" attitude you'll always feel like you're on cloud nine. Like you're feet never touch the ground when you're around them. Don't confuse Good Time Charlies for the Tony the Tigers (flakes,get it? frosted flakes? nevermind) of the online dating scene. Granted the Tony the Tiger I spoke of in my last post is a combination of the two, a deadly combination I may add, but that's another post and another set of rules. Good Time Charlies are very deceivingly charming and have no clue that they are this way. GTC's are everyone's krypontite, everyone's cookie to their cookie monster. Needless to say GTC's are naturally smooth talkers and can keep you coming back for more. Eventually, one will feel like a sick son of a bitch masochist lost in a S&M wonderland in bikini bottom. Granted, yes, this can be a very fun situation...if you don't start to have any feelings for them. That's where the tight rope walk begins, my precious. It's always so easy to fall for one of these GTC's.
You might be asking...well, how do I not become a paltry victim of the GTC? Tell me blogger! I do not wish to become another notch in their belt!! Puhhhllleeassee! OK, maybe you don't sound that desperate for this little gold tid bit of knowledge, but I'll tell you how with three easy rules. Cue the infomercial music!
1.Find something you find completely disgusting or just very...very....very unattractive about them and focus in on it.
You know that mole that's on their cheek that you never really paid attention to because you were too focused on the sweet nothings they were whispering in your ear? Focus on it. Look at that one gross witch hair that's starting to grow out of it. You know what they say? As people get older they get more moles and if they already have one their cheek, eventually they'll get them all over their face. To the point where their face has now become one big mole with a witch hair coming out of it. Ok "they" don't say that, but you get my drift.
2. Never, EVER kiss them.
Once your lips touches theirs...you're screwed,blued, but without the cool tattoo. Their kiss is the equivalent of what Poison Ivy's kiss should have done to that asshat Robin in the batman movie with Uma Thurman.
3. Take everything they say with a grain of salt.
Now, most Good Time Charlies have Tony the Tiger tendencies. So, if they say they'll see you on Saturday, don't keep your schedule cleared for them. Keep playing the field because more than likey they're doing the same.
Holy hell, blogger! What the hell crawled up your butt today? Why so harsh on the Good Time Charlies? Well, I'm not trying to be harsh. Just completely honest, my lovelies. So what if a GTC Tony the Tiger kinda hurt me a little bit? That has nothing to do with me venting today. This is merely a blogpost warning my zero readers of the possible dangers of the GTC's. They are not malicious people. I REPEAT, I'M NOT SAYING THEY ARE MALICIOUS PEOPLE. Just blissfully ignorant to the power they clutch in their adorable little panda bear paw. Uh...why do they have panda bear paws? Because Panda's are freaking adorable, that last sentence didn't have to make sense, ok?!
Anyhoo, chickadee's and duders, the lesson for tonight beware of the Good Time Charlie. Do as their name suggest, have a good time and don't get emotionally invested. Otherwise you'll end up blogging about them in your forever lazy wanting to punch yourelf in the weiner or in my case my ovary for getting emotionally attached. Do as the wise Ronnie from the Jersey Shore said, "Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore". Just put the Good Time Charlie in place of the Jersey Shore? Whatever! You know what I mean. Until next time, kiddos!
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