Hello, my pets! I bet you're scratching your head and wondering, what the hell is that title about? Why is this crazy fluffy girl talking about magicians? Well, of course I'll have a story to justify my title.
After a few peculiar months of being on that free dating website, I met someone, whom I thought had an amazing chemistry with (online of course). How this started you may be thinking? We of course saw each others profiles and did the coy, oh you looked at my profile? Well, I'm going to look at yours and maybe you'll write to me. Now, I know how stupid this sounds, but unfortunately this is how the online dating world works. People do this kind of bullshit all the time. I'll look at your profile a couple of times in hopes that you'll get the hint and email me. Am I guilty of such pathetic actions? Sad to say, my lovely noobs, that I am. Anyhoo! This blog post isn't about how I stupidly got sucked into the rabbit hole of twitterpated actions to attract the opposite sex online.
Back to the story! I met this charming, witty and extremely attractive specimen, with whom I instantly hit it off with. I use the term, met, loosely, because honestly, you're technically not meeting them, just conversing. He was as close to a "ten" I had ever been in my life (up until that point). The first few emails were very entertaining and insightful. I looked forward to signing into the website and I would anxiously hold my breath in hopes of getting a message from my Charming Houdini Copperfield.
After the dictated amount of emails passed back and forth he gave me his number and asked me to text him. We texted. Continued the great conversation when, he, broke the rule of the online dating site etiquette. What rule? You may be wondering right about now. Apparently, there are many unsaid rules, etiquette if you will, of how long one has to wait before calling someone they are interested in. He didn't wait this time that apparently is so crucial to some. I was completely in shocked, but also excited by this online dating James Dean rebel. Quickly into the conversation, he asked me to meet. I, of course even more quickly than he had asked, suggested coffee. If you read my second post, you'll understand why I suggested coffee. Needless to say, we set a date and time to meet up at our local coffee shop chain.
A couple of days before we were suppose to meet, I hadn't heard from my Charming Houdini Copperfield. Which was strange, because we had been texting and chatting everyday up until that point. In hind site, I now can see some of the red flags that were screaming at me to run because this guy was about to pull a David Copperfield on me. The day of the date he texted and called while I was scrounging my closet for yet again the best date attire I could find. He apologized for not being in touch and gave me some lame excuse. I don't recall the actual excuse he gave and I don't think it's really relevant to this blog post anyhow.
So, now kiddies, we're at the point to the actual date! About damn time, huh? The date went... swimmingly. Okay, maybe "swimmingly" doesn't quite sum up the night. It was as close to perfect as a date one could come without sounding like a cliche hallmark movie. It was almost like being with a man's man from the 50's where chivalry isn't dead, but without all the sexiest attitude. He held open doors , pulled out my chair, even stood up when I had to go to the ladies room. All qualities to swoon over, right? We kept each other laughing and smiling with hardly any effort. He made every effort to keep touching my hands and seemed to be into me. We ended up sitting outside the coffee shop chain far past the time it had closed just enjoying the company. It wasn't until we saw a nearby crack head scurry past us that we realized how late it actually was.
I know, I know. Crackhead? Geeze! Where the hell were you? It doesn't matter where we were! The date was going freaking fantastic! Now stay focus before you lose the moral to this story!
He walked me to my car and of course it was that awkward moment where you start to spazz out a little (all in your head of course). Your mind starts to race with thoughts of, is he going to kiss me? Should I go in for the kiss? Please God, don't make me look like a complete asshat and not read the signals that he's throwing at me correctly. Then it happened. Just like in the movies. He gently grabbed my chin, like they do in the movies, and leaned in for a kiss. It was, lack for a better word, perfect. It was just the right amount of lip, no tongue and not too hard. When he pulled away, he shot this incredibly sexy half smile and asked me to text him when I got home so he would know I got there okay. I was on cloud nine. All the way home, I was blushing and smiling like George Bush when he hears a dirty joke.
Fast forward four days and I have yet to hear from my Charming Houndini Copperfield. I restrained from texting him right after the date, because I didn't want to seem "clingy". After day two of not hearing from him, my mind started to become frantic with thoughts of what I could have possibly done wrong. Did I talk too much? Was I too much of a dork? I mean, he did compliment me continuously throughout the date? What the hell? Then by day three, I was just pissed and was too stubborn to call him and find out what the dealio was. By day four, I was confused and a still angry, but I figured I would call Mr. Charming Houdini Copperfield and find out what the hell his problem was.
The phone rang....and rang....and rang. No answer. I left a message, trying to sound as cool as possible, but I probably just sounded like Carrie in stalker mode. After another day of him not returning my call (I only called once people, I do have restraint), I sent him a text, hoping that would be an easier, less confrontational way, for him to reply back. Did he reply back? OF COURSE NOT!! That's why the title of this blog post is called "Houdinis and David Copperfields"! He completely disappeared and till this day I have no idea what went so horribly wrong. So whenever someone has one of these great first dates and then the other person disappears like how David Copperfield made the statue of liberty disappear (ahh you get it now, kiddos? Get why I titled this blog the way I did?). Tell them they're not the only one this has happened to. Somewhere out there, some awkward dorky girl who has way too much experience in online dating, has been through it too. Hopefully, they'll find some comfort in that without having to eat half a pound of chocolate while watching Hallmark movies. (Doubtful)
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