I guess I should start by what brought on this blog post. Well, I was talking to an ex that is now a friend (I guess that's what he is, quite frankly I'm not too sure what the hell to label what this relationship is) and we started talking about why couldn't we have conversations like we were having while we were "together". Eventually we got to the point in the conversation where each person starts to talk about what they should have or could have done to make things different. Like I've said in a previous post, hind site is always such a bitch.
Ok, a little bit of a back story about this poor shmuck that came across my path. He was my first ginger. Yes, boys and girls, I dated a ginger. Oh my word, blogger! Do you still have your soul? Did he work his voodoo ginger magic on your poor pathetic brain?! Uh...no? I don't think so. I believe I still have my soul, at least I hope I do. Is there a way that you can test if your soul is still with you? You know, like a pregnacy test but instead of testing for babies, you're testing for souls? Does that last comment make me get a one way ticket to hell? Oh well, if I'm going to hell then I'm going to go in a hand basket, damn it! Oh sorry! Back to the story.
So, we met of course online and had a good connection, blah blah blah. You should know the drill by now. We met at my fail safe first date place (coffee chain) and had a good time. So good that I thought it would be a swell idea to go for a drive so we could chat some more. We did. We drove around and talked about everything from music to more deeper topics. This guy even liked rockabilly music! He even wore a pair of creepers to our first outing. Now looky here, chickadees and duders, you don't understand how long I had waited for a guy to be interested in these things. Until then I had to explain to guys what rockabilly was and even who Bettie Paige was. If I wore red lipstick and winged eyeliner most guys thought I was a chola dressing up for Christmas. This Ginger's idea of beauty was exactly what mine was. The great women of the 40's and 50's. The undeniably sexy Vargas girls, the great pin ups. Holy hell, I'm sounding like a lesbian. Anyhoo! We had a lot of crap in common. *Like what, blogger? You're fondness for women? haha! Very funny wise guy, just keep reading the freakin story.* I was so excited about this guy seeing how I hadn't had a conversation like that since Tony the Tiger. At the end of the date this Ginger looked at me and asked, "hey do you want to date?" I was shocked and excited. Why? Because this guy wasn't afraid to jump in head first without fear of the possible consequences. This was very refreshing and comforting seeing how I thought I was the only one that wasn't afraid to jump in head first.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and we were already settling into a routine. After work I would go to his place and he would cook (no, not spaghetti or hamburger helper, he's a chef. No, not a fast food, jack in the crack chef. A good chef, a brilliant one in fact). After dinner we would hang out and do...well, grown up things. By the end of week two, I thought it a good idea to it would be a good idea to invite my Ginger to an outing with some coworkers for drinks after work. We went and had a blast. We had a few drinks, shot some pool and darts and he seemed to be charming the pants off my coworkers. On one of our trips outside to have a smoke I could tell he wanted to tell me something. Now, I knew this wasn't going to be anything bad, but I had a feeling it was something big. By big, I mean the "L" bomb. How did I get this feeling from him? I guess, it was the way he was looking at me, but I kept telling myself that this was waaaaaaaaaaaaay too soon for him to be thinking this. Naturally I brushed this feeling aside and we continued on with our night. After a night filled with awesomeness, we went back to his place where I was going to stay. Now, I don't know how this conversation got brought up, but he ended up saying something to effect of "I almost dropped the 'L' bomb on you tonight". I knew that he was trying to get me to say it first, but I wasn't quite sure I wasn't ready to say something of this magnitude. I mean this is a huge thing. Once you say something, you can't take it back. After about ten minutes of us going back and forth he finally said it.
Oh my gosh blogger how did he say it? Was it romantic? Wait! Hasn't it only been two weeks? Please don't tell me you said it back.
Alrighty kiddos, are you ready? This is how he told me he loved me..."ok fine I'll say it. I love you, dumbass". Your balloon deflated yet? I know mine was and this kiddies, should have been my second red flag. The first? The fact he got so caught up in the moment he said I love you after two weeks. Did I say it back? Well, what do you think?
Like I said earlier, we settled into a routine and that was fine...for the first two weeks. Eventually I started to feel like we were that old wrinkley married couple that do the same thing over and over and over again. Not those cute old married couples that you hope to be like one day, but those boring ones that when they look at you, it's like they're begging you to kill them. The ones that have that look of desperation on their face for anyone to put them out of their misery and to do so quickly. We tried to fix it or so we thought, but now looking back it was all talk. We were so good at blowing smoke each others asses that we didn't see that we were both too stubborn to actually do what we said we were going to do.
Now kiddos, lesson number whatever, more pearls are about to be thrown your way. Are you paying attention? Here we go. One should take a break from dating when needed. Why? Because if you don't, you end up bringing in baggage from past relationships even when you think you're over it. What was ours? We both had bent over backwards so much in our last relationships that we were determinded not to ever bend again. In doing so we ended up ruining this relationship.
We were both quickly getting frustrated with this routine and were too busy arguing over how to fix it and pointing the finger at each other that nothing ever came into fruition. Now here comes the breaking point. It's about damn time blogger. You're blogs are becoming more and more long winded. Hush you, keep quiet so I wrap this bitch up! We were at his house again, this time determinded to break the monotony that had become our hang outs. We didn't, we did the same thing, but this time when I tried to do the dirty with my man, he was distracted. Before then, we had been watching Steven Colbert and I thought he was started to get into the mood. He was participating in these grown up activities when suddenly that prick, Steven Colbert, said something that sent my Ginger into a laughing attack. Mid make out and heavy petting session he had been distracted by the witty comments of that asshole Steven Colbert. Yes, my youngins, I had just been cock blocked by Steven Colbert.
After being blocked by Steven Colbert, I knew we had hit our low point and there was no coming back from that. We broke up and until our recent conversation had never looked back. Onto the moral of this story! Don't wait until it's too late to do the things you should be doing. Do them when you need to in order to avoid regrets later and for God's sake...if you're trying to get down and dirty with your partner, make sure Steven Colbert isn't on the t.v.
No comments:
Post a Comment